There’s good chance that if you are reading this, your state requires you to have an officiant to perform your wedding ceremony (not everyone is as lucky as Colorado, where couples can marry themselves). How do you choose an officiant? There’s a few things you need to determine…
- DO YOU WANT A RELIGIOUS CEREMONY?
This will determine not only who officiates your ceremony, but it might also determine the where. This is the first decision you need to make in your officiant search. I always tell my couples not to compromise on this. If you feel in your soul you want to be married in your building of faith with your religious leader, you should. That’s a part of who you are, and it will undoubtedly
- DETERMINE HOW IMPORTANT CONNECTION IS
This is the person who will pronounce your union; you might want to develop a relationship with that person. Then again, you might not. This might be a perfunctory part of your day–you just want the bare minimum required by the law. Neither answer is wrong, but it will determine whether or not you are willing to pay possible travel fees for your officiant to join you. I say this thinking specifically about destination weddings where you maybe can’t meet with your would-be officiant prior to your ceremony. And like what I said above, if you don’t’ care to have a super-close relationship with your officiant–you just want someone to guide you to “I do”–that’s totally fine. There is no shame in that game. It’s your day, your story…tell it your way.
No matter what, though, you need to…
- MAKE SURE YOU ARE ON THE SAME PAGE
I’ve seen it first hand: One time, an officiant was more spiritual than the couple, and afterwards the couple commented to me about how awkward that was for them. It is important that, no matter what kind or how long your ceremony is, you and your officiant understand what can and should be said.
Oh, and be sure they can pronounce your name correctly. That is tres awkward for everyone if they can’t/don’t.
What questions do you have about choosing an officiant?
Kayla Lee is a Minnesota-based wedding and elopement photographer. She provides services to elegant, authentic, sentimental couples who not only choose their own adventures, but also live them to the fullest! See more about the KLP Wedding Experience!
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