Step-dad. Extra mom. Bonus children. Whatever terms you have for them, blended families can be an absolute blessing in our lives. Step-parents and kids can be extra sources of love and joy in our lives.
But what if that’s not your case? What if you are dreading your wedding day because of the potential uncomfortableness?
There are a few ways to go about these sticky situations:
1. BE UP FRONT WITH ALL PARTIES
Regardless of how anyone feels, this is YOUR day. It is not unreasonable to ask everyone to put their squabbles aside for the duration of your celebration. They all love you, so one of the best gifts they could give to you and your love is a day that is all joy and no dramarama.
2. BE HONEST WITH NEED-TO-KNOW VENDORS
As a photographer, it helps if I know ahead of time who shouldn’t be next to whom. If mom and dad are not on good terms, it helps to know that I shouldn’t ask for a full-family photo if there’s dissension in the ranks. No need to feel any shame–we’ve either seen it or lived it, so it’s really quite safe to let us know so we can help you avoid the awkwardness:)
3. INVITE THEM INTO THE PLANNING PROCESS
There’s a good chance your stepmom or dad is just as nervous about all of this as you are. Extend an invitation to them to help with the planning process. Help pick out their attire, let them be a part of the pampering pre-ceremony, give them a special gift, too. In my experience, so much of family turmoil simply comes from mutual unaddressed feelings of neglect or rejection, so be sure you do what you feel is comfortable to make them feel included.
“You know, I have just enough love in my life,” said Absolutely NO ONE EVER. When you are joining mixed families, it can be a chance to add a little more love to your lives…keep that in mind and it will always win over any awkward, uncomfortable situation.
Kayla Lee is a Minnesota-based wedding and elopement photographer. She provides services to elegant, authentic, sentimental couples who not only choose their own adventures, but also live them to the fullest! See more about the KLP Wedding Experience!
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