November 6, 2023


Your wedding day is a celebration of love, commitment, and the unique connection you share with your partner. One of the most cherished moments during the ceremony is when you exchange heartfelt wedding vows. Writing personal vows is a beautiful way to express your love and commitment to one another, making the moment even more special. While I am a writer, I know not everyone is, so this could be an stress-inducing wedding ritual. Have no fear–instead have these ten steps to help you write your wedding vows.

1. Reflect on Your Relationship:

Before you start penning your vows, take some time to reflect on your relationship. Think about the journey you’ve taken together, the challenges you’ve overcome, and the dreams you share for the future. What is it about your partner that makes your love unique? These reflections will serve as the foundation for your vows. This is a crucial first step in in understanding how to write your wedding vows.

2. Set the Tone:

Decide on the tone and style you want for your vows. Do you want them to be romantic, humorous, traditional, or a combination of these? It’s important that your vows reflect your personalities and the essence of your relationship.

3. Begin with a Personal Story:

Start your vows with a personal story or anecdote that encapsulates your relationship. This will immediately engage your guests and create an emotional connection. Share a moment that represents your love, a significant experience, or a shared memory.

4. Make Promises:

Express your promises to your partner. What do you vow to do to nurture and protect your love? These promises can encompass emotional, physical, and practical aspects of your relationship. Be sincere and specific in your commitments.

5. Speak from the Heart:

Your vows should be heartfelt and genuine. Use your partner’s name and look into their eyes as you speak. Let your emotions shine through your words, even if it means shedding a tear or two. Authenticity is key.

6. Keep It Concise:

While you want your vows to be meaningful, avoid making them excessively long. Aim for about 150-250 words per person to maintain the attention of your guests.

7. Practice and Edit:

After writing your vows, practice delivering them out loud. This will help you ensure that they flow smoothly and allow you to make any necessary revisions. Make sure your vows have a logical and coherent structure.

8. Seek Feedback:

Consider sharing your vows with a trusted friend or family member for feedback. They can provide valuable insights and help you refine your words.

9. Customize Your Promises:

While traditional vows can provide inspiration, it’s essential to customize them to make them uniquely yours. Your vows should reflect your relationship, values, and personal journey.

10. Reaffirm Your Love:

Conclude your vows by reaffirming your love and commitment to your partner. Leave your guests and your partner with a warm and unforgettable feeling.

In the end, your wedding vows are a personal declaration of love and commitment. With careful thought, reflection, and practice, you can create vows that resonate deeply with you and your partner, making your wedding ceremony a memorable and emotional experience for everyone involved. So, take your time, write from the heart, and let your love shine through your words as you exchange your promises on your special day.

Kayla Lee is a Minnesota-based wedding and elopement photographer (and handcrafter and designer on the side). She serves elegant, authentic, sentimental couples who not only choose their own adventures, but also live them to the fullestSee more about the KLP Wedding Experience!

On Mondays we educate! Check out the blog every Monday for a new post to help you plan your wedding your way! Find past posts here!

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At home on the road. Forever-focused on authenticity and the thrilling art of creation; always found in the moments that leave me breathless and in awe. 

After fourteen years as a high school educator, I stepped back through a door I thought was closed. Journalism came back into my life. Armed with a Masters of Arts in Communication, I was again challenged and prepared to tell the stories that would become history, but with a twist: It is now your legacy of love that I document. The tension I seek is that from every tear, smile, laugh, and moment of love on your wedding day. 


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